I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
