....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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