4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
