My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Randomize
