love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Randomize
