in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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