remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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