I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
