Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
sarcasm needs its own font
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
