My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
You're like the curious george of whores
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
