dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
