I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
You can't special order awesome
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
