I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
