If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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