Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
