Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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