My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
