Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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