I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
