I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
