so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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