i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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