he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
