dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
