It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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