i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
