I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
