You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
