Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
