he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
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