My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
