Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I pour the whiskey from now on
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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