that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
