he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
