Plan B is the new Plan A
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
