my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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