Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
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