I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
There are leaves in my underwear?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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