Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
