Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
