oh god the rape fog is back!
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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