You really coming over, don't trick.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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