Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
