I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
