Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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