Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
