I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
