why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Randomize
