the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
