He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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