Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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