just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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