hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Randomize
