but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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