Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
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